Why
do we press harder on a remote control when we know the
batteries are getting weak?
Why
do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when
they know there is not enough?
Why
does someone believe you when you say there are four billion
stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why
doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why
do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why
doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why
does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you
throw a revolver at him?
Why
do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose
idea was it to put an "S" in the word
"lisp"?
If
people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why
is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the
bubbles are always white?
Is
there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why
do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes
that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why
do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then
put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why
is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first
try?
How
do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When
we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say,
"It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why
don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Why
is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's
falling off the table you always manage to knock something
else over?
In
winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in
summer when we complained about the heat?
How
come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And
my FAVORITE ...The statistics on sanity are that one out of
every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental
illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay,
then it's you.
