Subject:  Piece too good to pass up
Date:  Sun, 24 Dec 2006 21:52:58 +0000
The Warmonger’s Brigade

by Michael Gaddy

It appears the Bush administration has a real problem on its hands –
the war effort is not going well at all and the military is on the
verge of "breaking." I do believe I have a plan, which if
implemented right away could provide the needed relief Bush is
desperately searching for. Desperate times call for desperate
measures. If this country is indeed in danger of having to fight the
enemy on our soil, it is time to pull out all stops. If the Bush
administration is serious about "protecting our freedom" and this is
not a war started on lies to increase the bottom line of companies
from the Military Industrial Complex, it is time to deploy the
Warmonger’s Brigade.

First battalion would consist of all male and female members of the
immediate families of everyone in the Bush administration. Of course
W’s daughters would be the first to be placed in this battalion,
followed closely by Dick "water boarding" Cheney’s daughter, Mary. I
am aware that she is pregnant at this time but within a reasonable
time after giving birth, she could rejoin her battalion in
preparation for deployment to the Iraq Theater of Operations. After
all, her significant other is also female so the infant will not
lack for maternal care. This administration has found no problem
with sometimes deploying both parents to Iraq, so Mary Cheney being
deployed would be business as usual.

Included in this battalion would be the children of all cabinet
members, led of course by any eligible children of Alberto "torture
is ok" Gonzales. I’m sure Karl (the leak) Rove has some children,
nieces or nephews that would make good cannon fodder. Included in
this battalion would be all eligible employees and family members
(18 to 38 years of age) of CIA, NSA, DIA, and BATFE. Since these
agencies have declared war on American civil liberties, extending
the declaration to include real enemies should present no problems.

So he would not feel left out, all of Donald Rumsfeld’s eligible kin
would be immediately drafted for service, even though he is no
longer with this administration. They of course would be required to
ride in unarmored Humvees while wearing Vietnam Era flak jackets.

Second battalion would consist of all family members of those in
Congress who have supported the war in Iraq. Chelsea Clinton could
vie for command of this battalion with eligible members of the
McCain family. Charles "slavery is okay if you're serving the state"
Rangel could insure that all members of the Black Caucus have their
relatives fitted for new uniforms, trained, and ready for
deployment.

Third battalion would consist of all male and female members of
those at FOX, NBC, CBS, ABC, and the Weekly Standard. Of course all
relatives of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly, and William
Kristol, followed closely by relatives of those at the New York
Times, War Street Journal, and the Washington Post would receive
orders for immediate deployment. All other media outlets in this
country that have supported this war would also see their children
deployed for immediate service in the "global war on terror."

Fourth battalion would consist of members from all the church
leaders in this country who have blindly supported the illegal
invasion of a country that posed no threat to us. Jerry Falwell, Pat
Robertson, James Dobson and others would of course dutifully escort
their family members to the induction centers and then volunteer for
support duties themselves. No deferments for Conscientious Objector
status would be allowed.

Recon battalion would consist of family members of all executives of
companies in the Military Industrial Complex who has realized such
huge profits from this war. No exemptions would be allowed. If a
company is in business to profit from the blood of others, it should
also be willing to provide the material (their children) to the
effort that produces those profits.

Special Operations elements of the Warmonger’s Brigade would consist
of all members of the NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL, NASCAR and all other
professional and amateur sports teams. If service to this country
when we are so at risk is really necessary, as this administration
claims, we need combat troops more than we need to be entertained.
With their wonderful conditioning and the fact many athletes would
rather fight than play the game they are paid to play, combat would
be an excellent alternative. Naturally, all members of professional
wrestling and boxing would be given command positions in this unit.

Staffing the Psychological Operations unit should be Max Boot, Cal
Thomas, Ann Coulter, James Meigs, Andrew Sullivan, George Will and
Charles Krauthammer. No one else could match this group when it
comes to turning outrageous lies into palatable truth for the
masses. Their lust for war is so strong they should be required to
feel the sting of battle firsthand.

Anyone displaying "support the troops" ribbons would be eligible for
immediate induction into the combat support battalion. Their
children and grandchildren would be dispersed within the other
combat battalions. If our country is in real trouble, supporting the
troops should include providing the troops, and who better to do
that than those who blindly support war.

If steps to establish the Warmonger’s Brigade as outlined above are
not immediately enacted by those in the White House, Congress and
the Pentagon, they are either the biggest hypocrites on the planet
or this war is a hoax. Then again, it could be both.

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